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They call me Mr. Pitiful...

I just don't know how or if another woman will ever be attracted to me again.

And for the first time in my life I am afraid of changing...

... because everything's changing without me.

I've had September Girl stuck in my head today. I couldn't remember all of the lyrics, but I attached the thought of it to her because of her birthday. When I got home and looked at the lyrics, I realized that it was pretty fitting.

Oh, September girl, I am so scared today
Already 28 and still haven't saved the world
Woke up this morning to nothing I recognized
Everything changed and I never saw it coming
Now there are 5 billion disappointed souls scrapping around in my disappointed mind

And for the first time in my life I am afraid of changing because everything's changing without me

Oh September girl I am so scared for you
You finally decided to live on without me
Now I am forced to just swallow this heart for you to become the girl you already are
Now there are five billion disappointed souls that'll just have to wait...
'cause I only dream for you

Maybe it's time for me to do
The thing that I meant to do
'Cause your getting older and I'm getting older and even us good people die
The gifted never stop seeing the world for the first time
The good ones grow older, the poor ones grow older, the great ones are never forgotten.

She has been back in my head a lot lately. I am going out this evening to do something fun that I will really enjoy, however, I am terrified that, because this is a shared interest, I may run into her. Please. Don't let that happen. I don't know what I'll do.

Hmmm...

Thoughts on meeting people online?

You always hurt the one you love...

Oh, BLUE VALENTINE. You know me so well.

I'm sure I will talk about this movie during my next podcast. Wow. I'm just... shaken. Shaken to my core. I think perspective on the couple on this film will differ from viewer to viewer. Me, I feel like I watched my life on replay with the woman just giving up and walking away.

Yeah. That's what I thought...

I've started watching the sitcom Perfect Couples on NBC. Surprisingly, I really like it. The weird thing is that the main, normal marriage resembles what mine was like. Seriously. The main couple has the standard arguments and is kind of the rock for the their friends. Soooo... basically, I had a normal marriage. We had no chaos. We enjoyed each other's company and other people enjoyed ours. Hmmm. So she didn't want normal. I guess her nickname, Queen of Drama, was given to her for a reason. Since she was starting to feel dethroned, she must have needed to reclaim her kingdom. I feel a way I never thought I would: I wish I never met her. That way, someone else could be going through what I am when she got bored.

See you next tuesday.